Moonie and Anne at "Girls Rock Camp Showcase"

My friend Mary and I took our girls to this awesome show on Saturday at The Parish, this cool rock club downtown. It was a Girls Rock Camp showcase. Girls between 9 and 18 go to camp and learn to play an instrument of their choice. They write an original song, then perform it in front of a ton of people at a pretty bad-ass rock venue! It was awesome to expose the girls to all these other "older" girls playing music, performing and doing their "thing." Ours were actually doing their "thing" as well! They were toddling around in their too toos getting lots of attention and loving it. They danced and ran around. It was awesome. Very very hot in there, but still awesome. We took them for snow cones afterwards. A mid-day rock show AND sugar.....we were living on the edge!

Cooling off with some ice.

I wish I was in front of them for this picture!!!

Cute little Anne!

Moonie dancing.....

wow, she counted!

I'm not sure what the fascination about Elmo is, but it's my guilty pleasure allowing Emalina to watch sesame street and sing and dance with her. She loves Elmo the best, of coarse! Well, today when he was counting, she counted up to four with him!! She sounded out every word and knew which numbers came next. Sesame street just ended. She danced along to the theme song and is now trying to figure out how her doll's stroller is put together.

The picture above is Emalina with her 2 cousins in NJ. They're rocking out to the Elmo Pizza doll. too funny!

Signing off for now!

Have I really not posted since May?

Wow, Everything is happening so fast, I don't have time to ever catch up on my blog it seems!

Emalina is almost eight months old. I can't believe how fast the time has flown. She is the happiest person I know. She smiles at everyone! She really takes people by surprise. Before they even have a second to notice her, she's giving them a huge ear to ear grin. I love running errands or just getting out with her and watching her light up so many faces. 

She started crawling the first week in October and she's quickly moving on to walking. All she does is stand. She walks around a little while holding onto the couch, coffee table, her musical table, our fingers, just about anything she can grab. I actually let go of her hands the other day and she stood all by herself for at least 3 seconds before she sat back down!

One of my best friends, Kym was just here and Emalina adored her. Kym spoiled her with a ton of sassy clothes!

In these pictures Emalina is loving the beautiful quilt her Nani Rita made her. It's going to hang above her crib. It is so filled with love and detail. Rita's quilts are extremely beautiful art pieces. Emalina loved looking at the gold stitching and finding recognizable images in the prints.

Next is her just being cute playing on the floor with her blocks. And a picture of her in her Halloween costume. We attended a baby Halloween party last week with all her baby friends from prenatal yoga. We had a great time. The kiddos all looked SO cute! They all wanted to pull Emalina's wings.

These pictures are actually a little old already! I'm about to upload all her pics from the past month and I'll send them out next week. If you don't get my little monthly Emalina newsletter, you can always look at tons of pictures at www.flickr.com/photos/happyhanalei

I"m back!

Here are some recent pics of the angel. Feel free to check the flickr account for a WHOLE BUNCH of pics!!! : ) www.flickr.com/photos/happyhanalei




O.k., I'm back on the blog. I am an official part-time worker as of this week, woo hoo! I now have time to manage this blog. So many awesome things have happened, and I wish I could've blogged about them all. Today, however, is a fabulous day to start.

Emalina attended her first yoga class today! We went to post-natal yoga and my friend Jeanette and baby Gavin were there. It was SO fun! We om-d with the babies in our laps, then we let them lay on our mats while we did a few poses and they just watched and checked it all out. Then we sang songs, we danced, we moved their little limbs around so they could do baby yoga, it was so cute!!! Some of us had to break to feed or change diapers or walk and bounce our little ones, but they were mostly really enjoying themselves. I'm going to go every Wednesday.

AND!!! drum roll......I went to my first hatha flow class in a YEAR! It felt SOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOD!!!!!!!!! I'm BACK! I was so excited after class, I felt like I was about to burst out of my skin. I was high on prana! It was my friend, Liz's first class teaching since her little Elliot was born 11 weeks ago. He's just 9 days older than little Emalina.

So, today was a full-on yoga day. It was awesome.

The past few weeks, I had been back at work full time. That was really hard leaving that little angel. The first week she was with her daddy. That was really great bonding for them. Then Rita came (my fabulous mom-in-law) and she was amazing. She was so good with Emalina and she prepared dinners, lunches, breakfasts, did laundry, pulled weeds, did yard work, the list goes on I swear! Then Jim (Poppy) came and stayed for about a week and did yard work with Rita, chauffeured us around, babysat... they're a dream-team! Over the weekend, Tyler (Damon's bro) and his wife, Carrie, came to meet their new niece. It was great having the new Williams clan together.

Now that they're gone, we had to finally face the inevitable and put her in daycare, but luckily only 2 days a week. She had her first day yesterday. She started crying before I left and I tried to calm her down, but I was so frantic that I was the one probably upsetting her. Then the lady (Ms. B) came and took her away from me. They were trying to get me out of there. They have a hard time with first time mothers. I was so upset. I left and balled my eyes out the whole way to work. I couldn't really even speak to anyone until about noon. Ugh, it was brutal!!! Damon went to pick her up and she was hanging out in a circle with all the other babies and she was happy and fine. Nothing seemed different about her last night at all. She wasn't traumatized, only me. Tomorrow she goes back again. I'm sure I'll be much better this time. It seems like a great school. It's a new Montessori school around the corner from our house. Very clean and organized. Of coarse I'd rather have her not go, but two days a week isn't terribly bad. It could be worse. All this extra time with her is awesome already and the weeks not over yet!

Ah, it's good to be back.

Love,

Hannah

Emalina Moon Williams is born! (15 days ago......)

I can't believe it's taken me THIS long to update my blog!!! We've had people here non-stop and this is my first morning alone with Emalina as a new mommy. So far it's going pretty well!

She has her nights and days mixed up just a little, but for the most part she lets us get a fair amount of sleep. 

Oh, important stuff. She was born on February 27, 2008 9:32 a.m. Weighing in at 9 lbs 6oz, length of 21.5 in. and head size was 14.25 in. She was a very BIG girl. I guess it showed in my belly!! Here's the birth story I wrote shortly after.

Monday morning, the 25th,  at about 6 a.m., I woke up with more intense contractions than before. I could feel them in my back and in the front like menstrual cramps but they were only happening every 30 min or so. I told work that this could be it, but I'd come in anyway because I wasn't sure and I'd see how it went.
I ended up leaving work by noon because they were definitely more intense than regular BH contractions and I was feeling really antsy and spacey and couldn't be there anymore. So I went home and did all the final touches on our house and her room pausing at all the contractions then continuing with excitement, yet trying to remain calm because what if this was just another false alarm? By the afternoon, I definitely couldn't speak through the contractions. I was closing my eyes and letting them pass, then snapping back to me and continuing on with my conversations or actions.

I went to bed that night and woke up at midnight unable to sleep through the contractions. At 1:00 a.m. I called my doula and told her the news so far and asked if this was really labor. "When can I call my mom and tell her to hop on a plane?" Now was the time. She said to let Damon sleep as log as he could until I really needed him and call her when I need her. At 2:30 I needed Damon to get through the contractions. I mostly need him to just press on my sacrum and hips. My back was killing me. I knew it couldn't be back labor because she had been LOA the whole time. I did everything i could to keep her that way at all times and I thought this was just how regular labor felt.

At 4:30 a.m.  the contractions were 3-5 min apart and lasting at least a minute, it was time for the hospital. We met our Doula there, lugged all our bags and checked in. When they checked me out, I was sure I was at least 4 cm but, I was only 2 1/2 cm dilated and they suggested I go home. My Dr. was actually there on call and she agreed. She knew I wanted to do this naturally and suggested I be in my home environment. I thought they all might be crazy and this was about to go very fast. My mom had two very quick labors and I was sure that would happen to me, HA! Well, we decided to go home, I told our Doula to get some rest and we'd call her in a couple hours. When I got home it quickly got more and more painful, especially in my back. I could hardly feel my cervix or uterus contracting, it was all in my back. At noon our Doula came to the house and was helping us out. My mom also arrived from L.A. By 4:30 in the afternoon, I was in the bath in excruciating pain. Nothing helped. I felt like I was in hell and told them I really didn't think I could do this. They said I'd be fine and take it one contraction at a time, which I did, over and over again! We went back to the hospital at about 6 p.m. the contractions were really painful and about one to three minutes apart lasting at least a minute, this baby was on her way!....so I thought....

We checked in again and I was in way worse shape that the earlier check-in. When they checked my cervix, it was only 4 cm dilated and I really didn't think I could do this anymore. The Dr. came in and confirmed the baby was OP and I was having major back labor. Ugh! I couldn't believe it, but really I could because the pain was ridiculous. I kept pressing on, but as time went on, I just wasn't really dilating much. Because of her position and her size,
she was having a really hard time descending. I felt like I was going to die, it was too much to handle, but I kept on doing it. I was so darn stubborn. Damon and Karina (our Doula) kept encouraging me and saying I could do it.

At midnight, we decided to break my water hoping that would move things along. At that time the nurse offered me a shot of a pain killer and said it wasn't as good as an epidural, but it'd take the edge off a little I was all over it. I was all over an epidural, too, but Damon and Karina believed in me so much and kept encouraging to stick to my plan, I didn't want to let them down or let myself down.

They checked me again at 1:30 and I was only 7 cm dilated, it was just not happening and they were concerned I was going to have to have a c-section. (which was NOT going to happen) The nurse was about to leave for the night and said she was going to ask only once what I really wanted and made me look her in the eye and tell it to her straight. I desperately said I wanted this to end, I couldn't go on. I was ready for an epidural. I looked back at Damon and Karina and they thought that was best for me at that time. I needed rest, it had gone on already 26 hours not counting the early labor.

Once they administered the epidural, I was able to sleep for a good few hours. They also gave me pitocin to get things moving. It was still going really slow. I was a whole new person once I go the epidural, I was able to relax and focus on the birth instead of the pain. At 6 a.m., I was finally ready to push. Luckily I could still feel my legs and my contractions and I wasn't totally numb. I was able to push really well. All the nurses were "impressed" with my pushing. BUT! After 3 hours of pushing, they were starting to get nervous again. My Dr. was back on call, yay, and she came in and said, we need to get this baby out. I was getting so close!!! After 15 more minutes she looked me straight in the eye and said "Hannah, I know you don't want any interventions and definitely not a c-section, but that's where this is going if you don't get this baby out in the next 15 minutes. I need you to push double what you've been doing before." Oh, my God, I had been putting EVERYTHING into it already! But there was no way I wasn't going to get this baby out. I pushed with all my might and at 9:32 a.m. Emalina was born. She was really big and that's what had made it so hard for her to rotate back and to descend in the OP position. I tore pretty bad. A 3rd degree tear almost to the rectum, but I was o.k., Emalina's beautiful and I got her our without any interventions. Damon was amazing. He never left my side. He never ate or peed, he was so supportive. Karina was also such a trooper. That was a really really long labor!

I am so grateful for my Bradley and yoga training. I know it helped in so many ways, but I am also grateful that I was at the hospital so that I could get the relief when I needed it. Without it, I probably would've ended up with a c-section because I would've given up all my strength before the pushing.

I am healing extremely well. It's such a miracle, this birth process. And, so amazing how resilient our bodies are! I have a huge baby. 90th percentile in height, weight and head size. But she's an angel and lets us sleep 4 hour stretches at night. I'm not sure how I grew such a big baby, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Maybe it was all that protein and DHA supplements!

Thanks for reading my book of a birth story. I knew it would take a while, I'm glad I finally got a chance to write it! It's so healing writing and talking about it.

So far, my spirits are very high. I've been getting enough sleep and breast feeding is going great. A little soreness, but that's to be expected. This has certainly been the best thing that has ever happened to me. It's so amazing!!
I can't wait till you all get to meet Emalina Moon. She is a true angel.

Funny Thing of The Day

Well, a couple funny things.... First I woke up many times, but after the 4:30 one, I couldn't fall back asleep which often happens at the 4:30 one. I think that used to be known as "The Witching Hour." All the women would gather and pray and manifest and do spells. I think it was 4:30... anyway, here I am, wide awake and wanting desperately to fall asleep. I'm having anxious feelings about the birth, wondering when it will happen, wondering if the pains I was feeling in my uterus were labor pains or just shooting pains, feeling Emalina do all kinds of strange things, being very upset over the stretch marks that appeared on my belly TWO DAYS ago. I made it through this whole pregnancy without one mark, I was so proud of my skin. Then on Feb 20th, there they were. I absolutely can not get any bigger.

Then I tell myself I need to surrender. (yet again) So I lay there saying in my head, "I surrender to the universe, I surrender to the universe, etc.) over and over again, releasing tension from my body. Then I stop myself and think, "wait, maybe I should be surrendering to God.... I surrender to God, I surrender to God, etc......wait, maybe that's not right either.........I surrender, I surrender, I surrender, I surrender......" Brain is still racing. I can't even let myself surrender in peace!!!! So I get up and take a shower. It's now 5:18.
I try and relax in the shower, get out and get all greased up with my oils, fix my hair and go back to bed. I surrender, I really do. But why is it so hard?????

It's so hard not knowing! I also know that very soon I won't be able to just stand there in the hot shower for as long as I want. I won't be able to snuggle up to Damon without thinking of our baby. I am trying to enjoy my last moments before I have an infant to care for. She'll be here soon, I know. I know I know........ Every minute is one minute closer.

Funny thing #2
So, it's now 8:00 and I'm up and dressed and Damon's still laying in bed snuggling with Nesta and we're listening to KGSR. I sit down on the bed because I wish I could crawl back in and snuggle with Damon and Nesta. Then this Neil Young song comes on that was the theme song for Thelma and Louise and I burst into tears and embarrassed, I look away. Damon says,"why are you crying" he's kinda laughing. "I don't want to tell you" I say, and I'm crying and looking away. "What, Han, why are you crying?" I burst out, "It's when they drove off the cliff!" he doesn't know who I'm talking about. "Thelma and Louise! They drove off the cliff." I start really sobbing now. ha ha (and laughing at myself) "They had such rough lives and tried to get away and got into a little trouble with the law and then the cops were after them, they had them cornered and they were either going to be even more miserable in jail for the rest of their lives or they could just drive off the cliff, and they did! wahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!" Tears streaming down my face as I cry and laugh. It's like I was watching a movie of myself and It was hilarious, but I couldn't stop crying.

Please say this means something's going to happen today!!!

Also, I've got some weirdness happening on my right side. I woke up with a swollen gland on the right, I really hope I'm not getting sick! But, my face is big enough already and now this swollen gland, great. And it hurts. Then I was just walking at work and felt cramping on the right side of my belly in 2 places. It felt like running cramps or something, not menstrual-like cramps. Then I was doing some stretching and did the eagle arm stretch which stretches between the shoulder blades and I got a pinched muscle in the front of my right shoulder! So weird. Again, I hope it all means something will happen today! Please! Please! Please!

I surrender, I surrender, I surrender I surrender, I surrender, I surrender I surrender, I surrender, I surrenderI surrender, I surrender, I surrenderI surrender, I surrender, I surrenderI surrender, I surrender, I surrenderI surrender, I surrender, I surrenderI surrender, I surrender, I surrenderI surrender, I surrender, I surrenderI surrender, I surrender, I surrender, I surrender, I surrender, I surrender, I surrender, I surrender

Still pregnant, 1 day past due date

O.k., so I shouldn't be crying over one day right? My friend Liz was just a trooper and went 10 days over. I guess if that's what Emalina wants and we're both healthy, I'll have to do that too. But I'm so huge, I don't have any more room in my belly. My skin hurts. It's stretched to the max. This baby is HUGE.

I'm not sure if I've even written this or not yet, so pardon the repeat if I have, it's just on my mind. I have an induction scheduled for next Thursday and I really hope to not have to come to that. And if I make it to my Tuesday appointment and my health and Emalina's health are good, I may postpone the appointment to March 3rd. That would be 10 days over and about as far as my Dr. would want to go. I'd have to go in the night before and they would give my a drug called cervidil, which softens the cervix. This alone can get labor started, but if it doesn't, they would then administer pitocin at 6 a.m. the next morning. God, I hope I don't have to go through that!! It goes against everything I believe in and have worked towards. Amazingly enough, my Dr. was induced with pitocin and still had a natural birth, meaning no epidural. I'm not sure if that's possible, but I would certainly try.

In the meantime, I'm trying every natural thing possible. I'm not sure how graphic I can get on this blog, but the funniest thing happened with a breast pump last night. I was told by Dana, my dear friend who's a doula and studying to be a midwife (God I wish she were here!) to use one for 20 min, break for 30, on for 20 until I'd pumped 3 times.

So, I get these big clear plastic cone looking things and the "machine" all ready and ask Damon to hang out with me while I pump. He gives me a very uneasy glance and says he not sure he wants to see this. I tell him "IT'S FINE, I'll cover up, just hang out with me! We'll watch "Black Books" on the computer." (That's our favorite British T.V. show) So me, not having a clue as to what I'm doing, stick these big cone things on my breast and there are 2 knobs on the pump machine. One for vacuum and one for speed (1-5). I set the vacuum to halfway and turn the machine on, speed at #4. Well, this thing pulled my poor nipple so hard I started screaming. "DAMON, HELLLLLLLPPPPPPP!!!!!! OUCH!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!! GET IT OFF!!!!!!" I was screaming and laughing, it was so painful, yet hilarious. I think it was mostly startling because I had no idea what to expect. It was just pulling it over and over again and I couldn't make it stop. I'm cracking up again as I write this. So, Damon does nothing. He's completely frozen with fear, as he put it. He tells me to just pull to cones off. "I CAN'T!!!!!!!!!!! HELLLLLLPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I finally reach for the machine myself and turn it off and the cones fall to the bed. Oh my God. It was something else. I was so mad at him for not doing anything. But the way he was just frozen in shock was hilarious, too!!! I then turned the machine to the lowest setting and tried again and it wasn't so bad. I do feel like it made some good intense contractions, too, but still no baby. Emalina will come when she's good and ready. I fear this is the way it's going to be for the rest of my life. I have no say anymore. She rules my world.

We're running out of time for our 2/22 date. I guess I have to let that one go, too. Any date will be special though because it will be the day that she's born. J Lo had her twins today, sure wouldn't want to compete with that!!! ha ha

Please pray I don't write anything more until my big announcement!

What a long strange trip it's been.... Sometimes Jerry Garcia has the perfect thing to say, he really does.